Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Irish hunters...

Why is it that bad stories are always about blondes or Irishmen ?

Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt
moose.

They managed to bag 6.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said
the plane could take only 4 moose.

The two lads objected strongly.

'Last year we got six. The pilot let us take them all
and he had the same plane as yours.'

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't
handle the load and went down.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick
survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick,

'Any idea where we are?'

Mick replied, 'I think we're pretty close to where
we crashed last year.'

Monday, May 24, 2010

Logic....

Piet and Koos, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Piet turns to Koos and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes."

Koos thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Piet goes down to the college and meets dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Piet says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"Yes, I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to findout all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Piet shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Koos at the bar. He tells Koos about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Koos says, "What's that?"

Piet says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."


"Then you're a moffie .........."

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Blonde password....

Just had to share this one...

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"WashingtonMickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said ...
 
she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters .....
 
long and start with a capital.


why is that everything is always about blondes ?


just wondering...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Film to show SA's violent side

According to news24 - you can read the full report here:

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Film-to-show-SAs-violent-side-20100511

South Africans are about to pull out all the stops in order to make the government take note...

the people have had enough of crime being "a normal part of life".

being in constant danger, or living in constant fear is NOT NORMAL...

not for civilised beings anyway.

It's about time.

On the 19th of may, please wear something red to signify your disdain with all the bloodshed.

I will.

Let's make our voices heard - if enough people speak up, the government will HAVE to do something.

remember - 19 May

Red

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Prison or Work?

Prison or Work?

This is classic, I had to share it...

In prison... you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10
cell.
At work... you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

In prison... you get three meals a day.
At work... you get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for
it.

In prison... you get time off for good behavior.
At work... you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison... a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work... you must carry around a security card and unlock
and open all the doors yourself.

In prison... you can watch TV and play games.
At work... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison... you get your own toilet.
At work... you have to share.

In prison... they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work... you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

In prison... all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work
required.
At work... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and
then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for
prisoners.

In prison... you spend most of your life looking through bars
from inside wanting to get out.
At work... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and
go inside bars.

In prison... there are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work... they are called supervisors.

In prison... you have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes.
At work... you get fired if you get caught.

OK, that's funny.  But it's a lot more funny to those of
us that have "escaped" from a J.O.B. (just over broke)
than it is to those that are living this way.

The lighter side of being ill...

“Being ill is one of the greatest pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work until one is better.” Samuel B...