Funny - Just Quickly....:)

I dialled a number and got the following recording:** **
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
**************************************************

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"
**************************************************

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."
**************************************************

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.


.....:)