"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."
"It's a guy thing."
Really means...
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.
"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."
"That's women's work."
Really means...
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"Go ask your mother."
Really means...
"I am incapable of making a decision."
"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"I can't find it."
Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
Short jokes that landed in my inbox...
To all connoisseurs of good puns... ****************** How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other si...
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Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the p...
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Please consider the following questions: · Do you have feelings of inadequacy? · Do you suffer from shyness? · ...