The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
“Being ill is one of the greatest pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work until one is better.” Samuel B...
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. Money c...
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. ...
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking...