Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The REAL Facts about Health...

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.   

 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Brits.

 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
       
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.  

.....

CONCLUSION:  Eat and drink what you like.   Speaking English is
apparently what kills you.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Brilliant Advice from a Chinese Doctor... Love this guy!

Q:  Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true? 
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.   Want to live longer?  Take nap.

 Q: Should  I reduce my alcohol  intake?   
 A:  Oh  no. Wine made from fruit.  Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made
of grain.  Grain good too. Bottom up!

 Q: How can I  calculate my body/fat ratio? 
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

 Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? 
A: Can't think of one, sorry.  My philosophy: No pain...good! 
     
Q:   Aren't fried foods bad for you?   
 A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food fried in vegetable oil.  How getting more vegetable be bad?

 Q  :  Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A:  Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. 

 Q:  Is chocolate bad  for me?  
A:  You crazy?!?   HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

 Q:  Is swimming good for your figure? 
A:  If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

 Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?  
A:  Hey! 'Round' is shape!

 Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

The lighter side of being ill...

“Being ill is one of the greatest pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work until one is better.” Samuel B...