Monday, October 29, 2012

Research - Beer contains female hormones

Research shows that Beer contains female hormones.

Last month, Sydney University and CSIRO scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.

 It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

Argued over nothing.

Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

Gained weight.

Talked excessively without making sense.

Became overly emotional

Couldn't drive.

Failed to think rationally.

Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing is planned for the immediate future.

Send this to all the men you know to warn them about the hazards drinking too much beer!!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Frozen crabs and the blonde stewardess...

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer, and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin:

"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

There are two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.

Monday, October 8, 2012

The Ten Commandments Of Employment…

The Ten Commandments Of Employment…

1. If it rings, put it on hold.

2. If it clunks, call the repairman.

3. If it whistles, ignore it.

4. If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.

5. If it’s the boss, look busy.

6. If it talks, take notes.

7. If it’s handwritten, type it.

8. if it’s typed, copy it.

9. If it’s copied, file it.

10. If it’s Friday, forget it!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Mom and the Speed Limit...

A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7-yr.-old son, Little Johnny.

She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she is doing 15 miles over the speed limit...

Slowing down she moved over to the side and got out of the line of cars.

She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car.

As he did he said, “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?”

Little Johnny piped up from the back seat, “I do! — Because you couldn’t catch the other cars.

The lighter side of being ill...

“Being ill is one of the greatest pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work until one is better.” Samuel B...