Dead Chicken Lays an Egg...

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Dog for Sale....:)

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle...
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Luxury Fishing Boat Drill...

Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he suddenly said to his wife, "Ok honey, this is a drill. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore." She was initially surprised and flustered, but she soon settled down and was able to safely drive the boat to shore. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, grabbed the remote control, switched the channel, and said to him, "OK honey, this is a drill. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook dinner, and wash the dishes....."
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Blonde Mortician......

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.' The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly ... She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank cheque. 'T...
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