MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
*A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use
the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE"
procedures have been developed. Please follow the
appropriate steps for your gender.'**
*****************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.**
*****************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the
truth!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car
window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and
hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash
inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place
receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.**
SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THE LADIES
who can handle it.... A lady sent it to me. She was
laughing, too.*
