Grumpy Talk ..... :)

The kids discovered an old typewriter in the attic. Though it was old, it was still well preserved. Of course, dad had to explain... He got a sheet of paper, put it in the machine, and started typing... The kids were amazed, and started firing questions like: Where do you plug it in? Dad says "you don;t have to plug it in". Where are the batteries? Dad replies "no batteries needed". What software does it use? Dad (smiling) says "no software required". Kids: "WOW Dad! Why didn't they invent this LONG AGO?!"

This is the best example for paying attention that I have ever heard... First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said... "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle fi...

Marriage is a three ring circus:             --engagement ring             --wedding ring             ---suffering ------------------------------ ------------------------             When a newly married couple smiles,             everyone knows why.             When a ten-year married couple smiles,             everyone wonders why. ------------------------------ -----------------------             Love is blind but marriage is an             eye-opener. ------------------------------ ------------------------             When a man opens the door of his car for             his wife,             you can be sure of one thing:   ...

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous ------------------------------ --------------------------             An archaeologist is the best husband a             woman can have;             the older she gets the more interested he            is in her.             --Agatha Christie ------------------------------ --------------------------             Bachelors should be heavily taxed.             It is not fair that some men should be             happier than others.             --Oscar Wilde ------------------------------ ----------------------------             Don't marry for money; you can borrow it       ...

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back towards his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."