South Africans will LOOOVE this one....;)

REMEMBER, IT IS VERY ‘IMPORTANT’ THAT YOU REGISTER YOUR SIM CARD

Operator:"Thank you for calling Scooter's Pizza. May I have your .."

Customer: "Halloo, can I order?"
Operator :"Can I have your cell number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eish ......, hold on .....eh.... 082-266-25... ."
Operator :"OK... you're ..... Mr XXX XXXXXX and you're calling from 17
Retief Street Your home number is 011 403 23..., your office 011 764
23.... and your mobile is 082 266 25..... I see you are calling from your
girlfriend's home. Does your wife know you are there?



(numbers blanked/shortened to prevent accidental coincidences...;)

Customer: "How did you get all my phone numbers?"
Operator : "We are connected to the System Sir."

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator :"That's not a good idea Sir."

Customer: "How come?"
Operator :"According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol levels, Sir."

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator :"Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator :"You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from
the National Library last week Sir."

Customer: "OK I give up ... Give me three family sized ones then, how
much will that cost?
Operator :"That should be enough for yourself and your girlfriend's
family of 10, Sir. The total is R149.99!

Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank R5 720.55 since June this year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,
Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives."
Operator :"You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawals today."

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready
How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator :"About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it in your Green Double Cab ...."

Customer: "What!"
Operator :"According to the details in the system, you own a Nissan
Double Cab, ... registration number NRB 132.... ...."

Customer: " Foetsek, man.
Operator :"Better watch your language Sir. Remember on the 15th July
1987? You were convicted for using abusive language to a policeman. I
need not tell you what happened to you at Kroonstad Prison"

Customer: [Speechless]
Operator :"Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing ....... by the way ... aren't you giving me those 3
free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're
also diabetic ... "

Customer: "Please cancel the order, my girlfriend will have to cook.....